Monday, June 21, 2010
Ok. I know what you're thinking- you're going to un-follow me because I'm posting like 10 billion times today. I don't know what it is but I have really been doing a lot of thinking about a lot of different things. Probably because there is a lot of change going on in my life right now... some of it is exciting and welcome and some of it I'd rather skip... but, the point of this post is to talk about marriage.
I know I have some followers that are newly weds (and some people I follow that don't follow me). Jake and I will be celebrating our first anniversary next month. It is hard for me to believe we have nearly been married for a year. We have been together for over 4 years. Crazy. You know, I think the craziest part is thinking back to my life before him. I really can hardly remember it. Maybe it's selective memory. I don't know.
Some days I feel like I have always known Jake. I feel like we were just meant to be and we really do compliment each other very well. We are not very alike, but we are not too different either. It's hard to explain. It's like it's the perfect balance of each.
Some days I feel like I don't know him at all. He will say something or do something and I think to myself who is this man? He just surprises me. lol
There has never been a day when I questioned marrying Jake. I cannot imagine my life without him. I know with all of my heart that I am a better person because of him. He is my heart. He is my best friend. I have never doubted his love for me. I have never questioned anything he says or does. He is an honest and sincere person. He has a good heart and he amazes me every day because I have never seen a day when he thinks of himself first. He simply doesn't.
You know, I know I am not an expert at marriage. I can look back on this first year and laugh at many things. Jake and I were talking today about our relationship and how we don't fight. We really don't. I used to think that if you didn't fight you didn't really love the person... but I have learned that you don't have to fight with someone to love them... you just have to be willing to fight for them. I am pretty sure there will never be a day when I would not fight for Jake. I will fight for his happiness, his love, his life, his wants and needs. I know I would because I know he'd do the same for me.
You know, I recently accepted a job in another part of the state and we will be moving soon. I may have mentioned this before but I'm not sure... I just wanted to express my gratitude for Jake's support. He has been there for me the entire year of ups and downs and interviews and rejections. He has believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. He has told me it would work out and though I didn't believe him at times, he was right. What you may not realize is that Jake has given up a lot for my dreams to come true. He knew how important teaching is to me and he knows that my whole life that is all I have ever wanted to be. He simply would not let me give up on my dream and he has given up some of his to see mine through. He is the most amazing person I know. Jake, I love you. I choose you every single day. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for giving up things for my happiness. You are truly the most unselfish person I know. I love love love you.
In marriage (this is where I was originally going with this post) you have to learn to pick your battles. You learn quickly that little battles are not worth it. Laundry on the floor doesn't matter. Dishes in the sink are no big deal. If he overlooks your shoes all over the house, you can overlook things, too. In marriage you also have to learn to say things nicely. It's hard to say what you think sometimes, but if you feel strongly enough about something to speak up- you'd better say it nicely. Remember, you have to live with that person for the rest of your life. Don't fight over stupid stuff. It's not worth it. Mostly, in a marriage, you have to love that person all the time. You have to love them more than you love yourself and you have to put them first. You have to be there for them. You have to be dependable. You have to be responsible. You have to be willing to give up some things. You also have to accept it when they give up things for you. You have to learn to be grateful... for every little thing. You have to take notice of things done and said. You have to live for that person. Be a better person because that's what they expect. Do the right thing because they deserve it.
I love Jake. He is the cheese to my macaroni. I am looking forward to many many more years with him.
Jake, if you actually read this... just know that I am forever grateful to you for everything you do for me. You are the most amazing man I have ever known. I love you. I choose you. I do. Every single day.