Call It What You'd Like

Some call it complaining... some may say it's being dramatic... others just think it's pathetic. Whatever you want to call it, I call it reality. The reality is that life is tough. I don't have a job. I've been looking for over a year now. It stinks. It's hard. I'm tired. But, the reality is that quitting is not an option. It's never been an option. It will never be an option. It's not even that you have to have a job to make it, it's that I'm no quitter. I don't quit. I don't give up. I get up and go. I keep working until I get what I want. Is it easy? No. Obviously the easy way out would be to just give up. It's not a choice. I have loans to pay off from an education that's doing me no good. I have bills to pay off. I have food to buy and a roof to keep over my head. I have a husband who is depending on me. I have the MilShelb who trusts me to keep my promise. The promise I made to them that they will never do without. I will never allow them to go without.

Many people are down and out right now. Many people are working hard and barely getting by. I know that feeling. I know that life. I hate it, but I know it well. Am I beaten down? Close. I mean, let's be honest. A person can only take so many rejections and excuses... but remember, I'm no quitter.

It's hard sometimes... to know people who have had the same education as me have jobs and are moving on with their lives... and then there's me. No job. I know in my heart that God has something planned for me. I know that... really... I do. I think. It's just hard to remember that when I'm standing here in debt up to my eye balls with my last paycheck (from a temporary teaching position for which I am very grateful) coming soon... It's hard to keep the faith sometimes.

I heard this song tonight by Taylor Swift called Change. It's an awesome song. I love songs about two people beating the odds and making it and getting to the top. I love them because it reminds me that I have an amazing man on my side and together we can and will conquer the world! Anyhow, some of the lyrics are:

And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it's all the same, another time and place
Repeating history and you?re getting sick of it

But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything to see it through

Because these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win

We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! Oh

So we've been outnumbered, raided and now cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
We're getting stronger now from things they never found
They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared

You can walk away and say we don't need this
But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this

'Cause these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win