Sometimes I get to thinking...

Sometimes I get to thinking... and it really never does me any good. Today I was thinking about how unfair life is. Not really life in general... mostly the job market. There are so many what-ifs and if-onlys. It drives me nuts! I think things like "if-only I had graduated on time instead of a year late. I would have a job." Or "what-if I had chosen a different major?" Or "what-if I lived somewhere else?" Or "if-only..." I could go on for days. The fact of the matter is that when I get to thinking that way I have to snap myself out of it and remind myself that, like it or not, I am EXACTLY where I need to be. God has a plan for me, for Jake, and for us as a family. He knows best. It's hard. It's not easy at all to be unemployed. It's hard to see people I should have graduated with who are teaching... and complaining about their jobs, their kids (students), their money. I just smile but I want to laugh in their face! I want to say "ha! You chose to teach to help the kids. If you didn't, you chose to teach for the WRONG reason." Or "Ha! You think you don't have any money?? You have at least $30,000 more than I do! Compared to me, you're RICH."

I realize I am being negative. I am not trying to be negative. The thing is, you can only take things for so long before they get to you. I am trying so hard to find a job. Any job. Really, ANY job. I haven't found anything. I'd love to teach, but at this point I'll do anything. I'd really like a job that involves working with people and not just behind a cubicle wall... but if that's what I get I'll happily accept and do my job with pride and work hard to do my best. I just wish someone would give me a chance.