Do you know what love is? Is it something you can describe? Is it the same for everyone?
I have friends who are married. I have friends who are dating people. I have friends who are single. Some are good relationships while others aren't so great. Some have been together for a long time while others just met. Some are deeply in love and others, I wonder how and why they're still together. The point is, I have friends in all sorts of relationship situations... and each is entirely unique. I truly believe that relationships are as unique as the people in them.
I think marriage is a funny thing. It's easy for some and tough for others. It's not really something you can understand until you are married. Some people find out all too late exactly who they married, while others are thrilled with their new spouse.
I think it's easy to judge other people's relationships from the outside. It all really depends on how well you know the people and what you think of the spouse. No one will ever be truly good enough for those that you love most and no one will understand why that guy married that awful woman. lol It's just how it is... but the fact of the matter remains that it is not your marriage. You, obviously, do not see that person the way their spouse does. Good thing, since you're not married to them.
People have preconceived notions about marriage and what a marriage should look like. They think people should act a certain way and do certain things and be certain people. I cannot speak for anyone else (since I have already said that I truly believe a marriage is as unique as the people in it) but I truly think that people are as happy as they make up their mind to be. I believe that judging a person's marriage is not right. I believe that a marriage requires an adjustment and involves the two people in the marriage remaining true to one another.
Do I have the perfect marriage? No. Does anyone? Not that I know of. We have disagreements and, to be honest, are still getting to truly know each other because this is our first year of marriage. We're young and we're still growing and changing and learning as we go. Do I love him less than I did when we were dating or engaged? No. I love him more. I love him more every single day.
I think people think that marriage either ruins a great love or that you will always be deeply head over heels like a school girl in love with your spouse. As far as I know, neither are true... at least not for us. We are very in love. I do not think that will ever change. Is it the same gushy love that we had at first? No. That wears off... and is replaced (thankfully) by something better. Otherwise, people would walk through their entire life unable to think clearly or even breath properly when the guy walks in the room! lol
Sometimes I have conversations with my single or unmarried (but in relationships) friends about marriage. Though I haven't been married long and certainly cannot tell you what makes a marriage work and last for a lifetime, I can tell them (and you) what gets us through... Jake and I are best friends. We can tell each other anything and everything. We do not judge. We are slow to anger with one another. We are quick to stand up for each other. We are one another's biggest fans. I admire him. I respect him. I listen to him. He values my opinion and I love his smile. Most of all, we trust each other entirely.
It's funny... the relationship we have is like no other relationship I have ever experienced. We are rarely serious. We're both very sarcastic and, really, it helps us to communicate because we can say what we think in a somewhat sarcastic tone. It doesn't hurt each other's feelings... but it gets the point across. We laugh a lot. We laugh with each other and, sometimes even, at each other. We love love love Milly and Shelby. We have their best interests at heart in every decision we make that can have any effect on them what so ever. We have common goals and we work towards those together.
I know people who met, got engaged, and married within a year. I know people who dated for years before getting married. Jake and I did not rush into marriage and we took our time making this decision because we know what a big deal it is. We are in it for the long haul. That being said, I knew I would marry him the night I met him. A bold statement, I know. But from the day we met we became inseparable. He stole my heart with his ugly shoes and fleece sweatshirt (in June). He stole my heart that first time I met him... and I have never tried to take it back. :)
I never knew I could love someone as much as I love Jake. Yet, I love him more and more each day. I never knew I could love someone more than I love myself... be willing to do anything for that person. I never really knew what true love was until I met Jake. Love you, Jake Cake!