You know, life is crazy. I think most people will agree with me on this. Life has a way of taking crazy turns and knocking you down at times you can't take it... and picking you up when you least expect the help. Life is nuts.
All that said, I never cease to be amazed at the things life throws my way. I am continuing to learn just how unpredictable life is. Each and every day something new is thrown at me. I have days when I am worn out. Days when I simply cannot take any more... and then someone says something to wake me back up, pick me up, and push me to keep going.
I am a blessed person. I am truly blessed beyond belief. I'm not referring to material things- though I am blessed in that way as well, I am referring to the people in my life. I am surrounded by people who pick me up and keep me going. I am surrounded by people who "get me". They know me. They love me. They understand me.
I am making friends at work... finally. I am starting to feel that I fit in and am not looked at as such an outcast. I am finding my rhythm in life... finding a routine and settling down.
You know, with all that positive stuff going on, there is still so much negative and so many things to overcome. I am having a hard time overlooking the bad some days and focusing on the good.
There are days when I just want to give up... thrown in the towel and say, "I've given all I've got. I'm done." I do say it to myself sometimes... but the next morning I get out of bed and go through another day and I make it.
I am learning that sometimes it is ok to just get through the day. I don't have to be in love with my life all the time. I don't have to look at the "upside" all the time. It's ok to be disappointed. Stuff happens and it's ok to deal with it without a smile on my face. What a very un-Maggie-like idea... but, I believe, a very grown up one.
Mostly, I'm satisfied with the fact that I am finding my way. Jake and I are finding our ways. So much around us is changing and some of it is for the better and some of it is not, but we are still going strong. I figure as long as we stick together, there's really nothing I cannot handle. I sure do love that man...