It's amazing what a little church can do for a person. I'll admit it- I have not been going to church like I should since I moved back to Columbia. However, I have gone for the last three (yes, three) Sundays in a row. How great it is to go to church and learn about God and praise Him and thank Him for the many blessings in my life. How great it is to know that God (the one, true, awesome, wonderful God) loves me... me... a sinner.
I know that some people do not believe that God sends you places and they rely on the idea of coincidence. I don't believe in coincidence. God sends me places and puts people in my life for a reason. Nothing is a mistake in God's world. Everything is part of a bigger plan. Anyhow, the first Sunday, I'm tellin' ya, the preacher was preaching directly to me. And, do you know what that told me? That told me that God was saying, "See, Maggie, I told you that you needed to be here. I sent you here. So, hear this message, no matter how uncomfortable it may be." Anyhow, I try to be a giving and loving person. I try very hard. I give to others. But, you know what, I don't love enough. And, giving to others is not the same as loving them. God showed us that when you love someone you will sacrifice on their behalf. Those were the preacher's exact words, "when you love someone you will sacrifice on their behalf." What a smack in the face. I needed that. I thought to myself, "Yes, God, I hear you. I hear you loud and clear. I have been selfish. I will obey. I will sacrifice on their behalf."
You see, I have been having a hard time lately. I have been struggling with some things... call them growing pains, I suppose. I keep waking up and remembering that I am an adult now. Yuck. And I am responsible for my actions and reactions. I am responsible for my family. I am responsible for my soul.
Yes. I hear You, God. I hear you and I am working on it. It's not an immediate thing... but I will get there. I will be strong enough to do the right thing... no matter what others think. I will live a life that is pleasing to You... or die trying.