My heart is tired. There are so many things weighing on me lately and I am just really having a hard time dealing with all of the stress. I can tell that the stress is taking a toll on me. I walk into a room and forget what I was doing. I do that all the time now. I will be in the middle of a sentence and forget where I was going with it. I can't ever finish one thing before I start another. I am worn out.
I keep being put in the middle of situations that I don't want to be... that I shouldn't be in. I want to be there for people, but I simply can only take so much. I am only one person.
I worry a lot. I used to never worry about anything. Well, that's a lie. I worried but things didn't eat at me the way they do now. Now I just get things in my head and just can't leave them alone. I even wake up in the middle of the night thinking about something I meant to do and didn't and how it is going to make something else messed up. Ugh.
I want to be positive again. I want to be upbeat again. I want to be happy. Not that I'm not happy. I wouldn't say I'm unhappy, just stressed. There's more to do in one day than there could ever be time for. I don't have time for me and I don't have time to finish everything I need to do. I mean, I feel like I can't give 100% to anything I do because I don't have it to give. I feel like if something does get 100% then something else gets about 10% or nothing. It's frustrating.
Ok. Enough complaining. I'm done with being negative. I need to go back to not dwelling on the negative. I need to be more positive. I will work on that.