Super Proud of Me

I am very proud of me and my emerging "green thumb." I've always been a person who has literally ended up killing all of the plants I've ever tried to keep... of course, I blame that on the fact that I was living in Columbia, SC... which I refer to as the hottest place on earth. Things just don't grow there. Pair that with the fact that I don't believe in watering plants after the first few days they're in the ground and you get exactly what I got- DEAD plants. Well, now that we are no longer living in Columbia and actually have a yard that belongs only to us (as long as we pay the rent lol) I decided that I would try once more. Well, whatdoyaknow? It worked! (Much to my (and I think my husband's as well) surprise!

I took this picture today of one of the flower beds in the back yard. The plants have grown sooo much! I am so excited.

This is what they looked like when I first planted them... pretty puny.
This plant is looking very pretty... but it has fallen over. I'm thinking I need to get something to help it stand up.
These Elephant Ears are so exciting to me! My Mom bought me two (I think they're called) bulbs and I planted them. I waited and waited and nothing happened. I tend to be one of those people who believe that things happen overnight... and Rome was built in a day! lol Anyhow, they finally came up and have been growing a TON ever sense. I am so excited to see how big they get. (Excuse the gas can in the background. That, of course, belongs to my "better half".)
Ok, I know it's Money Grass and just about everybody and their brother has it. That may be true, but what's great about this particular Monkey Grass (and the rest of the ton of it in my yard) is that I sat on my rear end in the yard one day with scissors and cut it back neatly... and I am so proud of how nicely it has come back. It was really looking rough before. That's the thing about rental houses. They get all sorts of renters and apparently the last ones weren't much on yard work.

Another thing about this Monkey Grass is that I just LOVE the color. If I could paint my kitchen this color I would. However, painting is not allowed. My landlord probably wouldn't mind, but Jake does not believe in painting a temporary home. He says to save all that for when we buy one... and as soon as we do I'm printing this picture and heading over to Home Depot to find a paint color to match!
This is such a neat plant. It just sits there flat on the ground. I just love it! It has done really well. I think it's supposed to spread and I hope it does. I think it's a really neat looking plant.
Anyhow, the whole point is that I am so proud of these plants. I really didn't do anything except for put them in the ground and water them for a day or two... but they look awesome and it just shows me I can grow things!

Forever Grateful

I will always be forever grateful to those who serve our country- past, present, and future. I am the dweeb who stands in the classroom with my students proud to say the Pledge of Allegiance every single day. ;) I am thankful to the soldiers and their families for their service. I will never pretend to know the sacrifice that was made. My own father-in-law was in the army for 25 years (or maybe more, I am not really sure). It makes me proud to know him. My step-dad was in the Navy and a few of my friends and family are currently serving our country. I think it's a shame that some people take it so lightly. Yes, it is a day for celebration, but it is also a day for remembrance. It is a day to be thankful... so, to all of you who have served or are serving our country- THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart. To the families, especially the spouses, thank you for giving up your spouse for months at a time. You are amazing to me. I cannot imagine the difficulty that comes with marrying into the military. Thank you for your sacrifices and your devotion to our country. YOU make me proud to be an American.

To The MilShelb

Some days you drive me nuts, sometimes you're hard to handle... but, you are my babies. I love you so much. You may not ever know how much you have changed my life and made me a better person. Thank you for making my life so happy. I love you, my sweet babies. :)

Yesterday...

Yesterday was a difficult day. As with most jobs, teaching has its good days and its bad days. As a long-term sub, I feel that many times I experience more of the bad days than the good... but that just comes with the territory.

Many things went wrong yesterday and, overall, it was just "one of those days" and nothing really stands out as being "the worst part".

The one thing that really bothered me though wasn't really an event but more a conversation. I kept hearing people talking and though I will not say what they said or any of that, I will say that it was very hard for me to hold my tongue. I know that most people don't have it great right now. I have really had my eyes opened to how good I have it- and that says a lot... but it still just makes me mad when people say stuff that makes me want to say, "at least you have a job. You have a paycheck. You know how you will survive next month. I don't." I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like we will be homeless or not be able to eat. We are truly very lucky when compared to some... and I really don't like comparing myself to others because I know that comparing one situation to another is like comparing apples to oranges... it's just not the same thing. It's just so hard to hold my tongue sometimes.

You know what they say though, "make your words as sweet as honey because tomorrow you may have to eat them." I try so hard to make 'em sweet. ;)

Feeling Defeated

Well, I am feeling very defeated today. Not that today is really any different from any other day. Each night I send out countless emails only to have one or two returned with the polite "we're checking resumes. if you are selected we will call you." response. I am just so worn out by the whole thing. I would love to be able to teach. I am a great teacher. I know in my heart that I was born to teach... but that may not happen. I have said before that I would be ok with that... with not teaching... and I suppose I will be. I just need to accept the fact that not all dreams come true and that Marilyn Monroe was right when she said, "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." I am praying that all the good things falling apart in my life are doing so so that better things can fall together.

The Job Hunt

Well, nothing has changed with the job hunt. I am searching and searching... and not finding. I apply and apply and have no success. I did have 2 interviews last week and hope to hear from one of those. I also sent out 25 emails tonight about jobs that were posted on district websites. I am tired of applying. I guess that's just too bad... because that's the name of the game until I find a job.

I keep praying that I will find something. I don't know. Maybe I am praying the wrong prayer. Jeff (my preacher) said that somewhere in the Bible (I think it was the Bible... maybe this was one of his stories) (I missed out on the exact place) it says that someone said "Lord I believe. Please help my unbelief." I feel exactly that way. I so believe that God will make a way for me and Jake. I so believe that He will send us somewhere. That we will find jobs. That we will be ok. But then I think... what if He doesn't? I know that is awful.

I hear all the time about people giving their problems to God. I try. I try very hard to do that. I can't. I simply cannot let it go.

Kids...

You know, I sometimes get the question "when are you going to have a kid?" Well, I think it's funny people naturally assume that people who get married are just going to up and start having kids. The thing is, why on earth would I have a child now? I am unemployed. I am married to an unemployed man. Both of us are looking as hard as we can for jobs... but we have been unsuccessful so far. Jobs are not the point of this post though, kids are. My point about the jobs is- if I cannot hardly afford myself then WHY would I have a child?

On to my next"no kid" point. Kids are a HUGE responsibility. HUGE. I normally respond to this question by saying, "oh we have two children. Their names are Milly and Shelby and they are four-legged and furry." To me, Milly and Shelby are my children. Are they the only children I will ever have? Who knows. Not me. The only person who really knows the answer to that is God.

Besides being a huge responsibility, kids are also a big commitment. I know this sounds silly to those of you who have children, but you have to commit to a child for a minimum of 18 years- but, let's be real, for the rest of your life. I am just not so sure how I feel about that. The rest of my life could very well be a long time... especially if I make the decision and then wish I hadn't.

I do not in any way believe that the idea of having children should be taken lightly. I believe that children are a blessing from God, and that I have some choice in accepting that blessing or not. The thing is, children need so much. I do not have it to give right now. I may not ever. Who knows.

The other thing about kids- it is not a one person decision. It is a decision for both people in the marriage. Jake and I have a take-it-or-leave-it approach. We really don't care. We're not totally opposed to the idea but neither one of us is like "MAN, I REALLY WANT A KID!" We both agree that once we have jobs and a house we will discuss it. That's it. We both have so many things we want to do in life and we are just not sure how kids will fit into that.

Let's face it. Jake and I live in the "here and now." We are planners to an extent, but we also know that there are MANY things that we have no control over. We both thought we'd have jobs by now and be very close to looking for a house. That hasn't happened. So, who knows if kids will happen either.

People have even asked me (when I have said I doubt we will have kids) about my parents. Well, I love my parents. I think they are wonderful. They are wonderful with Milly and Shelby and I have no doubt that they would be amazing grandparents... however, my parents know that we need jobs and an established life first. Let's just state the obvious- they raised me. They won't be raising their grandchild. They would rather not have a grandchild than have one that I resent. I would never want to have a child and then resent it.

People have also asked me who is going to take care of me when I'm old if I don't have kids. Really? Seriously? If anyone is having children for that reason... well, in my opinion that is just wrong. Plus, I know of plenty of people who don't bother to help take care of their parents. So there.

Also, people say that because I am an Elementary Education teacher they think it is strange that I am not dying to have children. Well, hello. My choice in professions does not dictate my choice in my personal life. think about that reasoning for a moment. Does that mean if you are a nurse you want to always have a sick kid? Or if you are a doctor for broken bones you will have a kid with broken bones? Um no. Does that mean if you are a vet you automatically have 50 pets? I doubt that. I work with children all day. I love them. I do not want to come home to children. Is that really that strange?

The point is that it is not really right to ask people about their plans to have children unless you are very close to them... or unless you have no manners. It's just weird and puts people in an awkward position.

Isaiah 40:31

Sometimes I need a reminder..."but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

Jeremy Camp's There Will Be A Day (part of it):

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing….

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

Sometimes it is tough. Life isn't always easy. I'm sure you all know that. There are days that are easier than others. It's so great to know that there is always someone there with me. I love this song because it provides the reminder I need. :)

Worrying

This is Rose. She is my Mom's dog. She recently lost her "sister" Lily and now she is sick. We're not sure exactly what is wrong with her, but Mom took her to the vet today and got a few ideas from him of what it could be... none of them sound very good. Poor Rose... and my poor poor Mom. I just feel so bad. Please keep Rose in your thoughts and prayers while we try to figure out what is going on with her health. Thanks so much!!

MilShelb Mom Thoughts

The thing about being a MilShelb Mom is that it is tough. I would imagine it is a lot like being a two-legged's Mom in some ways. For example, it is mine and Jake's responsibility to be the MilShelb's personal advocate. We have to have their best interest in mind when making decisions that can effect them in any way. We have to do this with no verbal communication from Milly and Shelby and that makes it very tough. Another example, when they're sick, they can't tell us. They can't say what hurts. It is up to us to notice their moods and behaviors and quickly get them the help they need. A third example, they can't tell us if someone hurts them. Milly and Shelby have no way of communicating to us what happens when they are out of our sight. For that reason, they are not ever left alone with people we do not know and trust. For that reason, if I was ever uncomfortable with someone at the vet's office, I would not allow them to take Milly and Shelby out of my sight. I really don't like that idea anyhow, but it's not up to me to tell them how to do their job. However, we have been lucky enough to always have people who seem trustworthy taking care of the MilShelb.

Anyhow, here are my babies...

Needed Reminding...

A friend of mine wrote a blog today that has inspired mine. (Check it out- Jennifer at "A Day in the Life of a Winstead.") She reminded me that it is important to remember that everyone has a battle that they are fighting. You may not even know that they are struggling with anything. Take me, for example, I am a pretty positive person. Most people who know me would tell you that I always have a smile on my face and I try to make the best of crappy situations. Most people who know me also know that I am struggling with a few things in my own life right now, one of which is the lack of employment I am experiencing. I don't point this out to people in everyday life. When people ask me how I am doing I know that they are not asking for an honest answer. They are asking to be polite and I, in return, provide the polite response of "I'm great. How are you?" Now, people who know my personal life know that this is a polite response and that there are other things going on. So, they are able to overlook (bless their hearts) when I get snappy with them or when I rant and rave over something stupid... because they know that it is stress talking and not my heart. I know that people who know me well know all of this and I am thankful... however, I fail to think about people who don't know me and catch me on a "bad day" and end up with an ear-full or a snappy/snippy/rude response. I need to watch my tone and my words. I also need to think about things like this when people respond to me in ways that are unpleasant. Maybe they are struggling with their own battle. Maybe they have had something horrible happen and are simply trying to get through the day. Maybe they are right there with me... unemployed and stressed over money. Maybe they are just rude. Of course, maybe people assume that of me at times as well.

So, Jennifer, thank you for the reminder. I need to watch my words/actions and I also need to forgive others for theirs.

Award time!

I received an award from Marlie at Southern Loves. Thanks, Marlie!!!! She is such a sweet person and a precious friend to have. I am so blessed by her friendship.

In order to accept that award, I am to list 10 things about me and 5 things I don't like. So, here goes...

10 Things About Me

1. I am a MilShelb Mom... it is the part of my life that give me the most pride and joy.

2. I am technically a newly wed. We got married less than a year ago... though I feel we've gone through more in this less than a year than many have gone through in 5.

3. I love to teach. It is my passion in life. I truly believe that quote "If you chose a job you love you'll never have to work a day in your life." So so true.

4. My most favorite color in the entire world is pink.

5. I am the middle child. I have an older sister and a younger sister.

6. I love Christian music. This is a love I have just recently (in the last couple of years) picked up.

7. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs... I'm pretty boring by some people's standards.

8. I have been to England, France, Spain, Mexico, and many of the United States... but my heart belongs to good ol' South Carolina.

9. My flipflops are my favorite clothing item.

10. I am 24. I used to think 24 was old... now that I'm 24 I'm thinking I'm just getting started! :)

5 Things I Don't Like

1. Milly's obsession with tennis balls. This drives me CRAZY.

2. Pepsi. It is gross. (And, yes, I can taste the different in Pepsi and Coke.)

3. Black jelly beans... which happen to be Jake's favorite... so that works out well.

4. Being hot. I'd rather be cold any day.

5. Paying for water. I feel that water should be free. lol

Now I need to give this award to 5 people...

1. Lorenza at http://eldiariodelorenza.blogspot.com/

2. Frankie at http://frankiefurterprice.blogspot.com/

3. Puddles at http://wethreedoxies.blogspot.com/

4. Oxana at http://iamatightwad.blogspot.com/

5. the sweet Doxie Mom at http://3dachsies.blogspot.com/

The Radio

I love listening to the radio. It just makes my day. I listen to New Life 91.9. It is an amazing station that plays really great Christian music and has very uplifting messages. It really helps me to get things into perspective and start myself out on a positive note. I only live about 5 minutes from where I am currently subbing, but it is 5 minutes enough to get me thinking right. Anyhow, today I had an interview in another town and had to drive about an hour there. I just loved getting to listen to the radio for a longer amount of time. This morning they were discussing their favorite prayer. The topic began by some talk about someone (I missed the person's name) saying their favorite prayer was "help me!" Another lady said her favorite prayer to pray is "thank you." One lady said that their family had a favorite prayer that they pray when they are passed on the road by fire trucks, police cars, etc because they pray for the people to be protected. Another person said that they pray "forgive me." There were so many prayers and it was interesting to hear how people talk to God and rely on Him throughout the day.

My favorite prayer is, "please get me through this with a smile on my face" or sometimes "keep me positive, please."

So, What's yours? What prayer do you like to pray or find yourself praying a lot?

My Babies

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. ~Will Rogers

Tears, Smiles, and Gratefulness

There is one being who has made me the "mother" I am today. It is, surprisingly, not the MilShelb. It is their "Aunt Lily". Lily is my family's dog. She is the first dog I ever had. I cannot express the gratitude I have for her patience, love, loyalty, and devotion for me and my family. She taught me what it was like to truly love a dog. She taught me how to walk a dog, feed a dog, talk to a dog, and care for a dog. She taught me the meaning of the quote "blessed is he who has earned the love of an old dog." I am so blessed to have known Lily... to have loved her... to have been loved by her. Lily has been sick for a long time. She has had some health issues and they have slowly weakened her. She is old. She is tired. She is in pain. My parents have made the very difficult decision to have her put to sleep tomorrow. It breaks my heart to know that she will no longer be with us... but I understand the decision and am glad that she will no longer be in pain.

I went to visit her tonight. When I was leaving I told her how much I love her and she gave me a big wet kiss across my face. I will miss her greatly. I will miss her silly noises and those deep, soulful eyes.

Here is a poem I thought I'd share with you:

You can shed tears that she is gone,

Or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back,

Or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her,

Or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,

Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

Be empty and turn your back,

Or you can do what she’d want:

Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

~David Harkins

I'll see you again someday, Lily. I love you.

A Parting Prayer

Dear Lord, please open your gates
and call St. Francis
to come escort this beloved companion
across the Rainbow Bridge.

Assign her to a place of honor,
for she has been a faithful servant
and has always done her best to please me.

Bless the hands that send her to you,
for they are doing so in love and compassion,
freeing her from pain and suffering.

Grant me the strength not to dwell on my loss.
Help me remember the details of her life
with the love she has shown me.
And grant me the courage to honor her
by sharing those memories with others.

Let her remember me as well
and let her know that I will always love her.
And when it's my time to pass over into your paradise,
please allow her to accompany those
who will bring me home.

Thank you, Lord,
for the gift of her companionship
and for the time we've had together.

And thank you, Lord,
for granting me the strength
to give her to you now.

Amen.

Frustrated

I am just very frustrated today. It's not really anything I could or should discuss on a public blog, but I am just so tired and frustrated. As a teacher, I find it difficult to always be nice and polite. It's hard when you repeat yourself for what seems like 5,000 times and, yet, nothing changes or the direction is not followed. I realize that this is a normal thing. It is not a particular student "out to get me" nor are they trying to drive me nuts. It's just hard when you deal with the same things day after day.

I have said on here before that I try very hard to be a positive person and I fully believe that being a positive person and having a positive outlook should be a top priority for myself when it comes to students, but it is tough. I am disappointed in myself today. I reacted in a way that was not only negative, but border-line rude. I apologized to the student for speaking to her the way I did and, to be honest, I think she was over it after that... but it is really just weighing on me. I know that they learn from me- not only what I teach- but the way I act and the way that I present myself. They learn more than just subjects from me and I should be a living example for them of how to behave. I also know that I am human and that there are some days when I simply reach my breaking point. That is not an excuse, however, and I will not make it one.

I don't want everyone thinking I am a horrible person because I spoke to a student in a way that I regret. It is not that I said anything mean, it is that I said it in front of her classmates and I should have pulled her aside. I do not at all believe that public humiliation is an ok form of punishment. That is never ok. As I said, I did apologize to her and I think everything is ok.

Anyhow, I'll stop worrying about it and just learn from the lesson.

There is a quote, and I am not sure who said it, but it goes like this, "Teachers teach more by what they are than by what they say."

Sad Day

My heart goes out to Digby's family at Wilf and Digby discover France. Digby lost his fight today... though it was not for a lack of trying on his part! I cannot imagine the pain they are going through. This poem comes to mind in times like these...

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... Author unknown...

Love This Man

Ok, so maybe he hates having his picture made... but he loves me! lol Love you, Jake!

To My Mama

This one goes out to my Mama…

Mom,

You are an amazing woman. I’m not just saying this because it’s Mother’s Day. I’m saying this because it’s true.

I love you. I don’t just love you because you’re my Mom. I love you because you are so kind. You are such a loving, generous person. You have a beautiful smile. You make me laugh. You have taught me so much. Thanks to you, I am where I am today. Thank you for pushing me to be the best person that I can be. Thank you for never accepting less than my best. Thank you for knowing what my best was. Thank you for all of the wonderful holidays. Thank you for all of the wonderful days. Thank you for teaching me responsibility. Thank you for teaching me about God. Thank you for insisting that I go to church when I was growing up. Thank you for teaching me the importance of being a Christian. Thank you for loving me even when I messed up. Thank you for loving me when I disappointed you. Thank you for always believing in me.

I want you to know, Mom, that I know that I love you. I am proud to be your daughter.

I love you, Mom. I love you today, tomorrow, and always.

Love,

Your Only One,

Maggie

Blog Award

Well, I was lucky enough to be chosen by my dear friend Marlie at Southern Loves for an award. She is so sweet to pick me as one of her ten! :) I'm supposed to list 10 things I love and then pick ten people to give the award to. So, here goes:

1. Being a Christian. I love it! I love knowing that God is there for me, even though I am not deserving of His love. I love knowing that He is watching out for me. It's selfish, I know. But, I love being a Christian because I know that I am never alone. I love trying (and still failing, but trying nonetheless) to live for Him every single day.

2. Jake. (duh.) He is my knight in shining armor. Some people don't believe in love at first sight. I feel sorry for those people. I can honestly say that I loved Jake the moment I saw him. I didn't realize that it was love, because I, stupidly, thought I had been in love before. I may have been... but I don't think so. Nothing can compare to the love I have for my husband. He is my best friend. He is an amazing man and I am so blessed to be his wife.

3. Shelby. She is the light of my life. She does these precious little dances when I get home every day. She loves me. She's not afraid to show it. She's so sweet and she has truly changed my life. There is nothing I would not do for that girl. ;)

4. Milly. Milly is my little MaMil. She's my heart. She just has this carefree spirit and always reminds me what is important in life... belly rubs and tennis balls, of course! She keeps me smiling with her funny personality.

5. My mother. (Not that she is 5th by any means.) My mother is a fabulous woman! She's the one who has taught me just about everything I need to know. It is so amazing to know unconditional love from day one... and I know I am blessed because not everyone has that. It makes me sad, but also so grateful to her for all of her sacrifices and generosity.

6. Skittles. Nothing can turn a bad day around like a pack of skittles (the original bag, of course). Skittles are amazing! The perfect mix of sweet and tangy with the chewyness that makes me happy! I just love those things.

7. Flip flops. Hands-down, flip flops are the world's best invention. I just love wearing them, showing off my toe nail polish and letting my feet hang out. lol I know that sounds dumb, but flip flops really are great.

8. Teaching. I love to teach. I love helping kids. I love being there for them. I love getting to know them. I love learning from them. I love that "lightbulb" moment. I love teaching!

9. Sunshine. Sunny weather is the best. There is nothing so simple and great as having the sun shine on your face and knowing who made that sun and who made that day. Really puts things into perspective.

10. This list would not be complete without mentioning the South Carolina Gamecocks! Go Cocks! There is just something about being a Gamecock...

Now for picking my 10... (I'm sure you'll see I follow lots of doggie blogs, because we have so much in common!)

1. Puddles at we 3 doxies.

2. Rachel and Klaus at Adventures of Klaus.

3. Twix at A Wiener Dog Blog.

4. My Mom at doglovinteacher.

5. Lorenza at El Diario de Lorenza.

6. Tiffany at The Tales of Dexter and Nora.

7. Victoria and Tenner at Victoria and Tenner Garrick.

8. Mona and Mommy at Mona and the Mommy too.

9. Ruby and Penny at 2 Mini Dachshunds.

10. Frankie Furter at Frankly Speaking.

Spreading the Word

I follow Mona and The Mommy Too's blog and loved her post today. It really made me think about how good Milly and Shelby have it and how I wish all dogs were treated kindly. Make sure to stop by and read it! :)

Stand By Me

This is the song Jake and I left our wedding ceremony to. It was true then and it's still true today. I will always be ok as long as he stands by me. (He picked the song by the way... he's such a keeper.)

Stand By Me

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darlin', darlin', stand by me, oh now now stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
And the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darlin', darlin', stand by me, oh stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me, stand by me-e, yeah

Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me, oh now now stand by me
Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

Darlin', darlin', stand by me-e, stand by me
Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

I'll always stand by you, Jake. I love you more than you will ever know.

Feast or Famine... and other thoughts

Feast or famine. That's my life. I either have 500 things to do or nothing. I have 83 outfits to wear or everything is dirty. I can find all 20 pair of black shoes or only the yellow ones. You get my drift. It just always seems like everything happens at one time and never at the right time. It's always a now or never thing and there's always 5 now-or-never choices all at one time or zero for months. It drives me nuts sometimes.

In terms of job stuff, I feel like when it's the right job it will work out. The right employer will be willing to wait a few weeks in order for me to fulfill prior commitments. Right now, I don't have much. I am my word. If I give it, I'm certainly not breaking it. It's all I've got to stand on.

Anyhow, I'm just feeling overwhelmed lately with all of the things going on in my life. There have been a number of disappointments and set backs over the last year and I am just ready to move on... hopefully I'll find a full-time job soon and be able to get on with life.

On that note. I need to stop saying and thinking that. This is my life. This mess. This chaos. This crazy, hectic, stressful thing is my life. You know, aside from the job thing, it's really a good life. The thing about being unemployed is that it doesn't just affect your professional life, but every little thing about your life. That's why it's so hard to overlook. I mean, either way I still need to remember that for whatever reason God has placed me at this moment and has given me this life... it is a gift. I may not understand why all of this if happening. I may never understand. But, I am thankful for the wonderful people in my life and for the interesting twists. It's made things interesting. :)

No Words Needed Wednesday

Quick Note

Just wanted to quickly post that today went well! It was my first day subbing in 8th grade. :) We start Romeo and Juliet tomorrow in the English 1 class and will continue poetry in the other classes. I'm pretty excited! Hopefully it will continue to go well.

Just a thought...

"Lots of people talk to animals... Not very many listen, though... That's the problem."

~Benjamin Hoff

It's Amazing

That common bond between people who have and love animals. I read a blog today where a lady informed her readers that he dog has unexpectedly passed away from kidney failure. I read another blog where a man was explaining that his dog will likely pass away soon. I have a friend at church whose dog got out at their friend's house and did not make it... I have cried and cried this morning. What a horrible loss. What a horribly empty feeling to go through... so heartbreaking. I have had pets pass away in the past. I have had to put one to sleep. It is horrible. It is not a feeling I would wish even upon my worst enemy... to lose someone who is so much a part of your life. I know you read this same phrase again and again, but Milly and Shelby are my heart. My life. My happiness. The thought of them one day not being here is too much to bear. I realize that they are only 3 years old and should have a great deal of life left in them... but you just never know. I am so sorry for the losses of these friends. One of the ladies said that some people might not understand because it is "just a dog" but to walk into an empty house with toys scattered around and bowls here and there... I just never want to do that. I know one day I will have to and the thought makes me sick. I read a quote that said something about how we do not really own dogs, we lease them and we just hope for a long lease. It's so true. I know that Milly and Shelby's life will never be as long as I'd like, but while they are here they bring me such extreme happiness and love that I would risk the horrible pain in order to have them be a part of my life, of my heart. I would always make the decision to have them as my babies. That has never been a question.

So, to Milly and Shelby- you are the loves of my life. I am so glad we are family. :)

And to the families who are grieving the loss of your loved ones... my heart and prayers go out to you.