The Thing About Marriage

I have been married for nearly 8 months. EIGHT months?! Crazy. I feel like just yesterday I was walking down the aisle looking at Jake's smiling face. I feel like just yesterday I was making a promise to him for the rest of our lives. The thing is, marriage isn't about the wedding. It's not about the vows said (though they are important), it's about the day to day of life. It's about being the mature one and not pushing buttons to make them mad when you know exactly how to do that. It's about making their favorite food or calling just to say hello. It's about never leaving the house in a fight and always saying you love them before you go to sleep. I know Jake thinks some of these little traditions are stupid- but if I were to ever leave the house one day without telling him I love him and something were to happen--- I just don't ever want him to wonder. I want him to know without a doubt that he is my heart.

Marriage is about the daily annoyances as well... the putting the toilet paper roll on backwards or leaving dirty socks in the bed. It's about the 50 billion questions over something stupid and the having to be 100% honest with someone even on topics you don't want to be 100% honest with yourself about. It's about sharing your life with someone who knows you by heart- and, therefore, can see right through you.

It's also about splitting things- like chores, the last piece of cake... and fear. And dread. And pain. It's about splitting bills and money and the bed. It's about not just thinking about yourself... actually, it's about thinking about the other person first.

Marriage is also about doubling things... like laundry (though there seems to be way more than double of that in my house) and groceries... and annoyances. lol But mostly, marriage is about doubled joy. The great thing is that if something wonderful and exciting happens to them it's as if it happens to you. So, twice the joy.

Marriage is about thinking. Thinking about the other person's feelings, thoughts, dreams. It's not about thinking about only yourself anymore. You have to think about them first. What are their dreams? What are their goals? How can you help those dreams come true and help them achieve those goals? It's also about thinking before you speak. I've never been good at that... but I sure have learned to hold my tongue and think first. Which works out better because I don't constantly have to take back what I said! (Which I am also not too great at. lol)

Mainly, I have found that marriage is about the daily give and take of life... and love. It's not enough to tell Jake that I love him. I have to show him by being nice and caring and doing what he asks... just as he always does for me. I am a lucky girl- I married a great guy. It's not hard to be a good wife when you have an awesome husband!