A Few Thoughts...

If you read this blog you probably know a few things about me... one being that I have 2 dogs and am totally obsessed! Well, I just have to have a moment to gripe. This is what really erks me... I hear of people all the time getting rid of their pets. They claim that these pets are "like family" and it "breaks their heart" to get rid of them but they are "moving and can't take them" or are "not able to spend enough time with them"... the list of excuses is a mile long. I especially hate it when I see that excuse of not enough time stuck to a dog at a SHELTER! I mean, hello... you don't have enough time so now your dog has NO TIME?! That is not right. I do not understand it. I thank God that I will never understand it. I would sell every last thing I owned before I gave up Milly and Shelby. When you get a pet it is your RESPONSIBILITY to take care of that pet. That means that you feed it, provide it shelter, take it to the vet, and (imagine this, here's the real kicker) LOVE it! A dog is the most loyal, loving creature. It loves you no matter what. You could be the most horrible person and your dog still thinks you are amazing. I truly believe that if people were half as wonderful as their dogs thought (or if they'd even try to be) this world would be a better place.

So, here's my point. If you have a pet- it's your pet. You made a (and maybe it was unspoken) promise to that pet. You are to be there for that pet and do the very best for that pet. I understand that there are some situations that are unpreventable, but you should still make your pet a priority. If you have to give it up, do not give it to whomever offers the most money. Take the time to find that pet a loving home... one that is better than the one you are providing.

I read something one time that really made me think. I know people wonder why I obsess over MilShelb so much- why I spend so much time with them... the answer is this (and forgive me, I don't know the name of the person who said it first- but they are sooo smart): A dog's life ranges from around 7 years to around 16. People don't think it's a big deal to leave their dogs for hours upon hours or even up to weeks at a time... that is a lifetime to a dog. Think about it- you'll probably live to atleast 70. That's nearly 10 times longer than a dog. So, while a few hours or days isn't much to you- it is sooo long to them. They miss you. YOU are their world.

That's it. I'm off my soap box...

oh, and please please please SPAY OR NEUTER YOUR PET!!!!

A Few New Pics

Just Because I Owe it To Them

I know it's weird... and call me crazy... but I like to look up and read about miniature dachshunds.

I think it is partly because I love dogs and mostly because I am obsessed with the two

minis running around ruling my house. I find Milly and Shelby to be many things... true to their breed,

they are loyal companions that feel the need to warn me at the slightest noise or approaching stranger

(even if the stranger is a bird, spider, or their own father). They are sweet little ladies that fill our days

with smiles, tail wags, and the occasional frustration over doing things that are, in my honest opinion,

not socially acceptable. :)

It is said on some websites that dachshunds are proud and bold. http://www.dogster.com/breeds/Miniature_Dachshund

They are also known for being independent thinkers and believe that they rule the world. http://www.yourpurebredpuppy.com/reviews/dachshunds.html

Some people describe them as fearless... especially for their tiny size. :)

I still remember taking them to Petsmart one day with my sister, Danielle, and her "dogter" Izzy. Milly (not even full-grown) decided to bark and growl at a HUGE dog. I appologized to the owner (who was hardly able to hold on to his dog) and got Milly aorund the corner and quickly explained to her that we do NOT ever bark at large dogs. I told her that she needs to pick fights with dogs her own size because when that big dog cam charging I was dropping her leash and running the other way!! lol She's a mess and has yet to learn that she is 16 pounds and not even a foot tall. Some call it the Nepolian Complex and she definately has it!

Milly and Shelby surprise me every day by how different their personalities are. They could not be more different if they tried! Milly is our loud, bold, courageous, watch-dog of a dachshund. Shelby, on the other hand, is our "little wiggle". She loves everyone and everything. She does not meet a stranger and she has a constant smile on her face and wag in her tail. Don't get me wrong, she barks out warnings to us as well... but normally only chimes in with Milly. She's so funny. She goes running after Milly barking along as if to suggest that she's "got her back".

We have our good days and our bad days. There are times when they make me want to pull my hair out, jump up and down and scream as loud as I can. There are times when they eat things they shouldn't or use the bathroom in places I don't see until I step in them... but at the end of the day they are my children... my pride and joy. We love them more than we ever knew possible. They are and will continue to be my inspiration to be a good person. As someone very wise once said "I want to be the person my dog already thinks I am." I strive for that every day. I don't always achieve it... but I sure do try.

Oh, MilShelb... I love you. :)

Moving On...

Well, as many may have realized school has started and I am jobless. Oh well. I was very upset about it at first and pretty sad on the first day of school when everyone started back and here I was... without a place to go. I've moved on from it though and have made some major decisions that I truly think are for the best.

1. I will not dwell on the fact that I do not have a full-time teaching job.

2. I will "get my foot in the door" by subbing and be grateful for that opportunity.

3. I will work on building my resume and references.

4. I will go to grad school... that's right, GRAD SCHOOL!!

I've applied to Winthrop and, as long as my meeting goes well tomorrow and I can sign up for their payment plan, I'll be starting class this week! Yay! I've decided to go for my master's in Middle Level Education. I figure that way I can teach 2nd to 8th grade and plus I think middle school is a different place to work. The kids are at that weird stage in their lives and I'm sure it makes for an interesting day. lol

I've been working in the yard planting plants and it has to be the most frustrating thing ever. I don't care for dirt or bugs so, needless to say, I spend the whole time entirely grossed out! haha But, the most frustrating thing about it is that MilShelb doesn't get it and thinks they should dig up the plants! grrr! It's actually kind of funny in an all-I-can-do-to-keep-from-losing-my-mind-is-laugh kind of way! lol

So, the main update is that I am still keeping my head up and a smile on my face and am trying my best to keep my head above water... and am getting my life in order. :)

This MilShelb mom needs some money... so feel free to get me to sub! :)

Struggling

"Peace of mind makes the body healthy, but jealousy is like a cancer."

It's horrible, I know... but I find myself growing more and more jealous of people who have been able to find jobs as teachers... it kills me to fill this way. I just don't know what to do. I am so tired of telling people I've been unable to find a job. It makes me feel like a failure. It's not that I think that I deserve a job any mroe than the next girl... just that I really wish I had one. I'm so tired of telling people "oh I'm planning on subbing..." with a smile on my face. It's getting hard to fake. I'm scared to death of not having a steady job with steady income. I'm afraid that since I didn't find a job this year that my references will be so out of date that I won't be able to find a job next year. I am just sooooo stressed.

I know that I have a great deal to be thankful for. I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, fabulous families, amazing friends... and am married to a man that I know without a doubt will never leave me. I just feel like such a failure... so inadequate... all because I can't find a job. I know it's not me. It's that there are so many people looking for the few jobs available that people are taking people with experience or ending up hiring from within the district... it's just really getting me down. I'm trying so hard to be upbeat... I'm just feeling very beaten down...

Please keep me in your prayers. I need confidence that everything will be ok... that it will all work out...

Please, dear God, give me ground or give me wings.

Just Some Views, Thoughts, What-Have-Yous...

I have been busily working on this house, trying to make it perfect, and have not written as much on here as I probably should have. I thought I'd post some things I've learned since being married and some things I've known but now understand:

1. There's so much give and take in a marriage that it's really amazing. I decided when we got married that I would cook tons more than I had previously (which isn't difficult to do since I practically never cooked before). I have cooked a few meals since we finally got the kitchen set up and, much to my surprise, the meals have been edible at least. lol I awoke the other morning to find Jake making pancakes in the kitchen. I was very pleased with that little surprise and I don't know why, but the thought that popped into my head was "wow, that man really does love me." I know to most of the world it's just pancakes- but if you know Jake, it truly is something else. I am constantly amazed at how well this house has run with both of us working together.

2. There's no such thing as "my" anything. I don't have "my room". I don't have "my house." I don't have "my couch" or ... you get the picture. It's weird. Now, I'm not a selfish person by any means, but it's weird to have nothing (or nothing note worthy) as your very own. It's also funny because there are things that I thought Jake could care less about that since this is his house too he has had to have a say on... like where and how to hang pictures, put furniture, place items in the kitchen, etc. It's funny. I value his opinion, but am just shocked that he actually cares! lol

3. We don't always agree. Now, I have known this for some time now. I wasn't born yesterday and Jake and I have never shared the same views on many things. I don't really care that much. I figure that we are two different people and that is what makes this relationship work. We have never been each other's "other halfs" or whatever. We are two different people who happen to love each other and share some of the same goals. Some people feel that people who share different views on things, especially important things, don't work well together. It's really not true. Jake and I simply realize that we don't have to agree. We can get along just fine with a simple understanding that we don't have to be the same person in order to be married. I'm happy to have my own opinion and I'm equally happy for him to have his own. That personality and opinion is what makes him who he is- the man that I love.

4. Jake and I can look at each other and know what the other is thinking. Now, I don't mean that about everything. I just mean that it is really funny when I can look at him and tell he is thinking the EXACT same thing... and half the time we just start laughing out loud! For example, we were in Target the other day and I don't know what the deal is with Target in the middle of the day, but BOY!, that place was kid central! Now, don't get me wrong, I love children. I think they're great... however, I also like moms who can control their children. There is simply nothing worse than being stuck in a line between two sets of moms with multiple uncontrolled, misbehaved children. It erks me! I tried to be positive about it, but after I had been run into, poked, or what-have-you over ten times within two minutes I had had enough. I was just standing there thinking that I was really getting ready to put this crap down and leave when I look at Jake and catch his eye and, much to my surprise, he is thinking the same thing! I just crack up! It was so funny I could hardly make myself stop laughing. Anyhow, we finally get through the line and make it back to the car before we say anything. Once we get in the car Jake looks at me and says "if we ever even so much as think we want children- we'll just go shopping." lololol!!! I died laughing. I said to him, "what gets me is why people are so shocked when I say that I really don't want kids. I don't have the patience for that mess. How can people deal with that ALL DAY long?!?!" I understand that I am an education major. I enjoy children. I enjoy teaching children. I enjoy helping children. However, I do not enjoy being around ten billion of them while I try to shop, think, eat, etc. It drives me batty. I truly appreciate the people who have it in them to teach and have kids- it's just not me. (Off my soapbox!)

5. I love him more everyday. I didn't know it was possible. I thought I loved him as much as I ever could, but I honestly love him more and more every day. I'm also finding that love changes depending on the situation. Sometimes, I love him for making breakfast. Sometimes, I love him for cleaning out my car. Sometimes, I love him just for who he is. Other times, I love him in spite of the fact that he left coke cans everywhere after I just cleaned or left his shorts out instead of putting them away... He's still my H. I love him even when he drives me nuts! I'm finding that when I feel frustrated with stuff, I just kind of start laughing. I don't know why. I think it's God's way of making me see that it's really just small stupid stuff in the big picture.

Well, that's enough of that. I need to mention now that MilShelb went to the vet yesterday. What a rough day for us all! Poor little Shelby had a HORRIBLE allergic reaction to the rabies shot and had awful welts all over her body. She was swollen and it was awful. I felt soooo bad for her! I mean, she's just so tiny and I just felt so helpless. She's a mess, for sure. However, she's ok now. She's been on medication to help the swelling and itchiness. She's feeling back to her normal self.

Poor ol' Milly had to put up with Jake and myself feeling sorry for Shelby all day yesterday. It made her so sick she puked in the yard today! lol Poor kid.

Once we finally got home from the vet the power went out and that was a whole other ordeal in itself. I was pretty worried baout it but then the city people came and fixed it and it's all better now, so whatever.

MilShelb has been playing in the yard alot lately. They really like it. They are also working on their potty manners and I'm pretty pleased with the results. Shelby is especially doing well. Milly is so well trained to the pee pads inside that she's having a hard time switching over... so, for now, we're keeping both. I don't want her to pee on my floor and better the pee pads than the floor. She's trying though. She just has such a weird little schedule. If I could somehow figure out how to get them both on the same schedule it'd help... we shall see. I think Jake and I need to be on a routine before we can expect them to be and right now that's not the case... but school starts soon and hopefully we'll have some sort of a set schedule.

Well, I'm still looking for a job. I'm still praying for one. I'm still trusting God to lead me. Jake looked at me today and said "it'll all work out. I just know it." I said "I know it too... just not how I wanted- but you can't walsy get what you want." It's so true. You can't always get what you want... but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need! lol

Dear God, give me ground or give me wings. Please! Please please please.

The Climb

I heard this song on the radio the other day. I rarely listen to the radio... so, no... it's not new... but it was all about how I feel right now...

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it,
The dream I'm dreamin'
But there's a voice inside my head sayin'
You'll never reach it

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My fate is shaking

But I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a up-hill battle
Sometimes were gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes it might knock me down
But, No, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember Most, yeah
Just gotta keep goin'

And, I, I got to be Strong
Just Keep pushing, oh
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
Were always gonna wanna make it through
Always gonna be a up-hill battle
Sometimes were gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's The Climb

Yeah

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a up-hill battle
Sometimes were gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on movin'
Keep climbin'
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith woah

Jake and I just finished moving and unpacking... FINALLY! We've moved back to Rock Hill. I am still searching for a job- but nothing has worked out so far. It's hard to keep going some days, because I feel like I keep climbing and climbing and am getting no where... but when I heard this song it was exactly what I needed. It really isn't about what's on the other side of the mountain or hill or whatever- it's about the journey, the climb. I am trying to be content with all of the wonderful things that God has blessed me with. It's not enough to simply be "content" and I know that. I should be thankful beyond belief- but I am struggling with that. I honestly feel like I have worked so hard to get to where I am and yet I cannot find a job- I know that I am a good teacher. I know that I would be a great addition to any school. I am a hard worker and I am more than willing, if not happy, to go the extra mile. I just need to get my foot in the door! People keep making suggestions about this and that- things I won't write on here... I know they say them to be helpful or encouraging or simply because they think it hasn't occured to me. I keep my mouth shut, but what I wish I could say is that Jake and I will make it. We may not have much- we may not even have enough all the time- but we will make it. I keep saying this, but there is a true difference between surviving and thriving. I just want to survive right now- thriving is not my goal at the moment.

God, give me ground or give me wings!