I have 4 days until the wedding. I have lots to do. I have no job. (Yes, I do have a part-time job, for which I am very thankful- but I need a full-time job.) I have to pack. I have to clean. I have to finish projects. I have to wash my hair. lol I have so much to do. I have no one to thank for all of this but myself and I know it. I put this all off until today and I can only blame me. I'm having a hard time staying positive- but it's certainly not for a lack of trying.
I am trying to have faith that things will all work out. I need things to work out. I know that they will in one way or another... because things always do- I'm just really having a hard time accepting that they may not work out exactly as I want them to. I have devoted the last 5 or more years of my life to my education so that I could become a teacher- so that I could make a difference. I am frustrated that this preparation has not led to a job.
I signed off saying that I would not view my references. I am now learning that that was a dumb move. I trusted people to be professional and say good things. I trust people too much. I have since learned that my references are not that good. It's not that they're "bad" but they're not perfect either. I am wondering if that has something to do with me not getting a job. I am feeling helpless and bad for myself and that is not a good thing to do. I won't say anymore baout that situation, as I am trying to be professional and may have already said too much.
I am tired. I am stressed. I am worried beyond belief. I am scared to death of not finding a job. This MilShelb Mom needs some prayers that she finds a job! lol
God, give me ground or give me wings... please. please. please.