Prayer Works

...Though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm...

I have become a much more prayerful person lately. I don't know what it is but I think it's true that "prayer may not change things for you but it sure changes you for things"... it so does. Don't get me wrong- I've always been one to say thanks for the food and pray before bed... but in the last year or so I've found myself praying in the morning that I am able to have a positive impact on others and that God stays with me and helps me throughout the day... the He works through me. I have also found myself praying when I need His strength and guidence. I pray before bed thanking Him for the many many blessing He has given me. I have become a more grateful person and a more understanding person. I also feel like my faith has truly grown by praying.

I feel like I have become much more content with where I am in life- like everything's somehow falling into place even though things are so chaotic. The fact of the matter is that I might as well like it because it's my life either way. I know in my heart that God will not leave me. He is there. He will always be there. He has blessed me with so many people and things in life- why should I not trust in Him to provide a way for me. I know He will. I say all of the time that His best gifts are unanswered prayers and I pray all the time that He lead me where I should go... that He lead myself and Jake to a place where we can make a difference and grow together. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Where He leads I will follow. I will post these lyrics as a final thought for the day...

Ginny Owens: If You Want Me To

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

ya oh oh no

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I go through the valley If You want me to

God is Good

!!God is so good, God is so good, He's so good to me!!

I just received a call from a school district in the lower part of the state to come for an interview for a teaching job. I am very excited! I will interview on Tuesday of next week.

Since sharing this information I have received mixed reviews. Allow me to clear the air:

1. I did not become a teacher so that I can live a comfortable life and always teach in rich schools (not that there is anything wrong with that at all). I became a teacher to make a difference. I firmly believe that ALL children deserve "good teachers". By "good teachers" I mean someone who loves them and cares about them and wants them to succeed, regardless of the color of their skin or the town they're from or what their daddy does for a living. I believe that ALL children have the right to a good education and a teacher who loves learning.

2. I have prayed my heart out every night for God to guide me to where He sees fit and to a place where I can have a positive impact and make a difference. Throughout my life I have learned that God will not lead me to ANYTHING that I cannot handle, nor will he lead me anywhere and dump me there. He will be by my side and He will see me through. Should I get an offer to work here I will most likely take it... as I see it as God pointing me where He wants me to go.

Guess that's it for now. Pray for me as I go through this process!

Thanks!

more thoughts

i believe that everything happens for a reason. people change so that you can learn to let go. things go wrong so that you learn to appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

-marilyn monroe

I found the above quote on Jake's neice's myspace page. I really like it. just a thought for today- sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Maybe that's what's going on... maybe things are semi-falling apart so better things can come to us... until then, i'll keep on praying!

Opening Doors

"Oh God, You are my God and I will ever praise You.

I will seek You in the morning

and I will learn to walk in Your ways

and step by step you lead me

and I will follow You all of my days."

I am such an impatient person and this job search is killing me. I keep telling myself a few things each day to make it through:

1. God is good and He is on my side.

2. If He cares for the birds of the air and the fish of the sea then surely, surely He cares for me.

3. God does not close one door without opening another.

4. Some of God's greatest gifts truly are unanswered prayers. (My life is a testement to this. I have prayed many times for things I did not receive, only to be given much more magnificent things than I could have ever imagined.)

5. "God, give me ground or give me wings!"

6. I don't need to thrive- just surviving is acceptable. :)

I have come to the conclusion that I have taken many many things forgranted in my life. I was raised in a household where we never went without needs and I, honestly, cannot remember a want that was not fulfilled. This is not to say that we were/are spoiled brats, but we certainly have more than most. I never for a second considered the amount of money it took to give us the things we wanted. I thank my parents for being so generous. They are amazing people.

However, I am in the process of learning (with Jake's help) the differece between a need and a want and the necessity of living within my means. I cannot afford to buy expensive clothes, and therefore I must not do so. I cannot afford to go out to eat all the time, and therefore I must make dinner and pack my lunch. It's not a big deal but it's simple things that will make a BIG difference in the months to come... especially if I am not able to find a teaching job. I am grateful to Jake for his patience through this process.

I pray every single day that God leads me to a job. I know that just because He does not answer the way I want Him to does not mean He has not heard me and will not answer. He hears my prayers. He will answer as He sees fit, for He knows what is best for me. I am trying so hard to be faithful in the idea that I may not get a job, but that that will lead Jake and I to bigger (and maybe even better) places and things. We will not have a lot of money and we may not ever... but we will be ok. This is truly an act of faith and I really feel as if I am feeling my way through the dark... but I am trying my hardest and nothing negative can be said of me in that regard.

I worry a lot about not having a job. I have tried to "give it to God" as people say- but I am just too much of a control freak to totally hand it over. I don't know how people can simply pray about things and expect them to happen. It's like my mother tells me "faith without works is dead" (or something like that)... and it is so true. I am truly stressing out about not being able to support myself and Jake as he finishes school. I know that in the end it will all be ok... but when I am in the middle of this situation and chaos it's hard to look for the "light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak. Oh, goodness... I just need to stop now. lol

Welp, that's my update... life as a MilShelb mom that needs a job. lol