This week I did Day 7 and Day 8. (We are only doing a couple of days a week due to our crazy lives.) In the chapters we were instructed to make two lists: one of positive characteristics about our husbands and the other about negative things. I will admit that both lists were easy to make, though I was pleased with myself that the list of negative things was not nearly as long as the positive. Unlike some people (from what I hear) I am blessed beyond belief to share my life with a man who makes me want to be a better person; a man who, when the world is falling down around me, always finds a way to pick up the pieces and make something of the mess. He is my heart. He is slow to anger, slow to place blame, and not easily annoyed. He understands that things go wrong and that we just have to stick together and stick it out. I wake up every day thankful to have made at least one right decision in my life- I married him. :)
Let's not go crazy though- we're not perfect. We don't always get along every second of every day. There are times when I want to strangle him and I'm sure the feeling is mutual. There are times when I think to myself "what were you thinking?!" He tries though... boy does he try. I am not an easy person to please, nor am I easy to live with. I know this. I am working on it every second of every day.
The first chapter told us not to speak rudely to or about this person. Basically, to watch our words. When I truly thought before I spoke I realized just how mean I could be sometimes.It made me realize how much of my frustrations I take out on him. That is not ok. It killed me to know that I could be so mean to someone who is my "chosen" one. I say that because that is my thing- his ring is engraved "I choose you"... and I do, Jake. I choose you every second of every day. I choose you for the rest of my life. I am sorry if I have hurt you or done wrong by you in any way. YOU are my heart.
Anyhow, the book said to make lists... and destroy the second one. And I did. GLADLY. It says that we need to be our husband's biggest fans. It says not to be jealous of your husband, but to be glad for him and his successes. When reading what Marlie said, I felt the same way. There are not many things that I am jealous of when it comes to anyone- including Jake. I feel like I have made these decisions and worked to get where I am and that God has a plan for me... however, the thing I do find myself being envious of is that I feel (much like Marlie said) that Jake has more time to himself. I know this will change soon and I also know that it is only fair. He is in school and I had that kind of time when I was in school- but I miss it so much sometimes. Other times I am glad to constantly have something to do.
I know that I am not the perfect wife... as I said before- I am hard to live with and I thank God that He made a man who can put up with all of the chaos that surrounds me daily. "Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your Glorious name. Blessed be Your name when there's sun shining down on me... and when there's pain in the offering. Blessed be your name!" He is leading me to a life where I can make a difference. I am so blessed. I know that I would not have the life that I have without Jake. I thank God for putting a man by my side who doesn't mind the bumps, starts, stops, and even the wrecks along the way. :)
LOVE you, Jake!
